Have you ever been through something that is so emotionally challenging, so physically demanding, so mentally exhausting, and so completely life altering that you feel you must adapt or literally shrivel up and die?
I've recently been through such an event, and quite honestly I find myself starring in the mirror at a totally different person. It leads me to wonder if such change is necessary in our lives so we can move forward, or if we are forced to change because of the situation and it's purely for survival. The more I contemplate and wonder, the more it starts to feel like the age-old adage of which came first-the chicken or the egg. Have I found this place of residence because I truly was destined or it? Or was this my coping mechanism that has now become my life?
Never in my life did I think I would be considering and thinking about the things I find myself drawn to right now. Never in my life did I believe I would need to. But here I am.
As I pondered all of this chaos in my head, I found something that put my thoughts to rest for now:
During my first semester of college, I had a class for my major that required us to make different goals and study them. We also studied the different goals of our families. Long story short, for one assignment we were asked to basically write a "mission statement" (for lack of a better term) that described us personally.
This is mine:
As a continuing student, changing woman,
Eternal daughter, and loyal friend;
I pledge to strive for my goals & always reach high;
To stand for what I believe in.
I will become someone worth mentioning,
I can make a difference to someone.
I thrive when others wilt.
When I found this I couldn't believe how much it still rang true to me. I'm sure at face value it probably doesn't mean much to the average person. But I am a words person. So each of those words holds a lot of meaning to me. I don't remember agonizing over my statement, it sort of just came. However, I am surprised at how much it still means to me.
So I guess after all this questioning and wondering, the answer I'm content to live with at the moment is this: We inevitably change throughout this life-sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Regardless of the reasoning behind the change, it is possible to always find your initial truth somewhere deep down inside. And after re-examining mine, I realized that everything I have done up to this point in time, has struck parallel to that which I pledged. The change has come full circle.
