Sooooo, there is this dilemma; one that is fraught with many opinions and emotions, one that might make or break the future, one that I’m nervous to even acknowledge.
I went through a really hard year last year. It continued for more than half of this year as well. The situation tried my very soul to the core. There are really no words to describe it.
However, there was this tiny little stream of sunshine that came at a point where I had washed my hands of relationships. It wasn’t overpowering, but it was there. It teased me. It made me wonder if it could actually start looking up. It made me want it to.
But as with everything in life, it was complicated. Life became happy and simple to me, but I knew it would be hard to understand for everyone else. My thoughts turned once again to dreams that had been shattered, and plans that were thrown out the window. It seemed surreal to me that I even considered it! I was boycotting that kind of life! I swore I wouldn’t be in that position again!
But here I am…..and I’m happy to be here….It feels different this time…safer, I think.
A dear friend of mine says that’s how God works. Just when you are about to completely throw in the towel; he gives you just enough to keep you going. (A part of me thinks that’s a little mean, but I get the purpose of it ha ha.) So I’m going to embrace it. And perhaps it may just turn out perfect in the end. I have a feeling that it might.